Stationery, Facebook and Twitter
Melissa Magsaysay makes a very impassioned case for fine stationery in a May 10 article in the Los Angeles Times. She laments that she has yet to receive a handwritten note from any of her 250 “friends” on Facebook. She adds, “Does anyone under 30 even remember what handwritten notes are all about? I am hoping that all this public chirping gives way to something more personal, maybe even a return to the romance of beautiful stationery, flair and making an effort.”
Melissa’s plea for “something more personal” got me to thinking about the relevancy or impact of social networks on interpersonal relationships. Sure, I’ve experimented with Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social networks but, for the most part, I’ve never really made a serious commitment to develop a network of friends, acquaintances, followers or other network buzzwords that define relationships. Melissa’s article got me to thinking “Why?”
I think it has to do with the type of person that I am. Let me explain. The relationship theme of Twitter is based on the simple question: “What are you doing?” Frankly, I never really thought that people really cared what I was doing and, even if they did, would they think more or less of me if I didn’t tell them? It seems to me that “real” relationships are based on consideration for another (“empathy” strikes me as the appropriate word) rather than talking about myself. As Melissa points out, making the effort to write a handwritten note brings the cream to the top and separates the casual acquittance from those you might like to know better. The handwritten note sends a message that is far more intimate and caring than any 140 character “tweet” could possibly convey.
I do not understand why so many people find it so meaningful or liberating to talk about themselves and eavesdrop on others who feel the same way. Maybe I am missing something, but it strikes me that one is either an egomaniac or is suffering from a rather severe inferiority complex. In fact, much of the social network “chatter” is based on “my” feelings,”my” views,“my” beliefs,“my” activities to the detriment of a relationship based on mutual respect developed through listening rather than talking about oneself.
I am hopeful that many of Melissa’s “friends” will take up the the challenge and experiment with the civility, etiquette and beautiful craftmanship that define fine stationery.