The Stationers Guild

I came across an interesting article in today’s New York Times by Sam Roberts with the intriguing title that “More Men Marrying Better Educated, Wealthier Wives.”   The gist of the article suggests that men who have sought marriage “from the standpoint of physical and mental well being”  now realize that a better-educated partner can also contribute to their “economic well-being.”   While this might be seen as a major evolutionary break-through in male maturity and self-realization,  the “alpha female” (The Knot’s characterization of the upwardly mobile female) is unlikely to compromise her rigorous approval standards.  One anonymous textile executive quoted in the article reportedly queries bar slugs and first dates with “Do you have a passport and a library card?”  Gosh, that will certainly weed out the field of eligible males rather quickly and so much for “Love at first sight!”

As I have no skin in the game (married to a far smarter woman and breadwinner -a fact which she reminds me of each day), I am free to offer this advice to men whose emotional IQ is higher than their testosterone level:  Buy engraved stationery and seek out a woman with an expensive pen.   I might add that Crane & Co. and William Arthur have sensational personalized stationery promotions going on right now, so you can buy in cheap and score big with a personalized note to the woman of your dreams who is currently involved in an unhealthy relationship with her Blackberry.   Can you imagine her reaction when she receives your hand-written note on engraved stationery?   Her Facebook “friends” and “Twits” on Twitter will simply fade into oblivion proving decisively that the pen is mightier than texting. 

If you need help selecting your stationery, please enter your Zip code or City and State in the Search Bar in the right hand corner to locate a qualified stationery store in your neighborhood.   If, however, you are looking for a woman with the “right”  fountain pen, might I suggest a limited edition Omas Château Lafite Rothschild fountain pen with a sterling silver nib which retails for $1,750.  I ordered the Chateau Lafitite pen for a woman as a birthday gift to the man of her dream’s whose passions were limited edition pens and French wine.  Apparently, his passions didn’t extend to the woman in question and I still have the Omas pen.  If your bride-to-be is looking for a pen to ink the relationship, tell her I have a great deal for her at Thérèse Saint Clair.

Chateau Lafite Fountain Pen

Richard May
Therese Saint Clair

Mikel King just received his first wedding invitation through Facebook’s event system. He relates his reaction to this invitation in an article entitled Welcome to the age of the techno-wedding for Examiner.com.   Mikel, the NY Consumer Technology editor, is no stranger to emerging technology, but even he was taken aback by the largely impersonal and tasteless (my word!) decision to reduce a wedding to a Facebook event.

Mikel’s  reflection on techno-weddings might best be described as forward-looking satire.   Nevertheless, I feel that he shares my concern that the new technology is radically changing the way human beings (even New Yorkers!) relate to each other.    While cost is obviously an important consideration for a wedding, I am not convinced that the extra pasta dish at the reception buffet is worth skimping on your wedding invitation.    In fact, your wedding invitation will be around a lot longer than the pasta.

Having “followers” on Twitter or “friends” on Facebook seems to be the equivalent of having lice on a dog.  The lice are along for the ride without  having to make an emotional commitment.  “Let’s party” is the not the equivalent of “Let’s get married,” even though Facebook Events would like you to think so. 

As a tired old dog, I just think the Generation Y-ers have simply exchanged the TV remote control for a super-smart phone.   Texting is not engagement. In fact, one wonders if texting is really a form of communication or just a nervous habit  to avoid a commitment at a more deeply personal level.  Surely, once we strip tradition, elegance and etiquette from important events in people’s lives we effectively sever the connection to past generations that transcends our daily concerns. 

Like Mikel, I guess I  need to wait for the “neo-retro-wedding trend” to emerge once tweeting about yourself loses its moronic charm.

Richard W. May
Therese Saint Clair

Melissa Magsaysay makes a very impassioned case for fine stationery in a May 10 article in the Los Angeles Times.  She laments that she has yet to receive a handwritten note from any of her 250 “friends” on Facebook.  She adds, “Does anyone under 30 even remember what handwritten notes are all about?  I am hoping that all this public chirping gives way to something more personal, maybe even a return to the romance of beautiful stationery, flair and making an effort.”

Melissa’s plea for “something more personal” got me to thinking about the relevancy or impact of social networks on interpersonal relationships.  Sure, I’ve experimented with Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social networks but, for the most part, I’ve never really made a serious commitment to develop a network of friends, acquaintances, followers or other network buzzwords that define relationships.   Melissa’s article got me to thinking “Why?”

I think it has to do with the type of person that I am.  Let me explain.  The relationship theme of Twitter is based on the simple question:  “What are you doing?”  Frankly, I never really thought that people really cared what I was doing and, even if they did, would they think more or less of me if I didn’t tell them?   It seems to me that “real” relationships are based on consideration for another (“empathy” strikes me as the appropriate word) rather than talking about myself.    As Melissa points out, making the effort to write a handwritten note brings the cream to the top and separates the casual acquittance from those you might like to know better.    The handwritten note sends a message that is far more intimate and caring than any 140 character “tweet” could possibly convey. 

I do not understand why so many people find it so meaningful or liberating to talk about themselves and eavesdrop on others who feel the same way.  Maybe I am missing something, but it strikes me that one is either an egomaniac or is suffering from a rather severe inferiority complex.   In fact, much of the social network “chatter” is based on “my” feelings,”my” views,“my” beliefs,“my” activities to the detriment of a relationship based on mutual respect developed through listening rather than talking about oneself.

I am hopeful that many of Melissa’s “friends” will take up the the challenge and experiment with the civility, etiquette and beautiful craftmanship that define fine stationery.