The Stationers Guild

While in Vermont for a wedding, I happened to be driving by a Church and noticed the following message posted on a large sign near the entrance:

Honk if you love Jesus!
Text while driving
if you want to meet him!

Regardless of your religious affiliation, the message is quite powerful.  Nevertheless, I am not sure it is a ringing endorsement to attend Church since the message implies that you can get closer to Jesus by texting while you drive than by sitting in a pew.

Now, I am all for clever word play to make your point, but the context or setting must be taken into consideration when crafting your message.   While the message at the Church entrance is certainly a  “public service” and “driver safety” message, many would consider it out of place at a House of Worship.

Similarly, “texting,” “writing” on someone’s Facebook Wall or “tweeting,” is very much different than sending a personal note on fine stationery.  For the most part, digital exchanges on Facebook and Twitter are public manifestations and lack the warmth and intimacy of a personal exchange of correspondence.

While the words or message may be identical in either medium, the handwritten note bestows a level of considered importance that most forms of digital communication simply can’t match.  A well-crafted note written on elegant stationery simply stands out from the seemingly endless clutter that daily piles up in our inbox or the ever-present demands to stay in touch with our social media friends.

I was recently at a cocktail party exchanging the usual banalities when a young woman (early thirties) asked me what I did? I told her that my wife and I owned a stationery store in Greenwich. Perhaps feeling sorry for me, she enthusiastically responded that “some of best friends use stationery.” Helping her to feel more comfortable with her obvious embarrassment, I explained that I had arthritic thumbs and couldn’t text all that well and found that the occasional handwritten note on engraved stationery was a good way to stay in touch with friends.

Proving that all good samaritans now have an iPhone, my enthusiastic new “friend” promptly explained that “the iPhone has this new app (read application) which allows you to speak into the phone and it will automatically post your Tweet.  No need to struggle with your disability.  Doesn’t Apple think of everything?”   

Not one to miss out on continuing this informative conversation with Generation Y, I explained I had heard of Twitter, but “was looking for a more meaningful form of communication than 140 characters.”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” she responded. “It’s not what you say, but how often you say it.  It’s all about being connected with your friends.  Sending a note is cute and sentimental and all that . . . but imagine being able to chat with all your friends  instantaneously.”

Feigning ignorance, I remarked “I had never thought of it quite that way.  I suppose none of my friends really care to be that – oh, how shall I phrase it:  ”intimate?”  Doesn’t it bother you to be on call 24/7 and what about privacy?

Not one to be deterred, “Twitter_Lady” quickly picked up on the privacy issue.  “It used to bother me until I learned how to create circles of friends and small groups on Twitter to share my thoughts.  I mean you don’t have to share everything with everybody, it is really pretty cool how you can be as open or as private as you need to be.”

“I find the subject very interesting. Perhaps I could drop you a note and you could let me know what I need to do to get connected on Twitter,”  I suggested.

“Oh, it’s not that difficult, just go to Twitter.com and set up an account,” she said.   Once you’ve got your Twitter name, just send me an email Tweet @jtpapertiger and I’ll add you to my followers.

To paraphrase the eighth Century poet Han-shan

“There was an old woman who lived east of me
She laughed at me for falling behind
I laughed at her for getting ahead
We laughed as though we would never stop
She from the East and I from the West.” 

Richard W. May
Thérèse Saint Clair

I came across an interesting article in today’s New York Times by Sam Roberts with the intriguing title that “More Men Marrying Better Educated, Wealthier Wives.”   The gist of the article suggests that men who have sought marriage “from the standpoint of physical and mental well being”  now realize that a better-educated partner can also contribute to their “economic well-being.”   While this might be seen as a major evolutionary break-through in male maturity and self-realization,  the “alpha female” (The Knot’s characterization of the upwardly mobile female) is unlikely to compromise her rigorous approval standards.  One anonymous textile executive quoted in the article reportedly queries bar slugs and first dates with “Do you have a passport and a library card?”  Gosh, that will certainly weed out the field of eligible males rather quickly and so much for “Love at first sight!”

As I have no skin in the game (married to a far smarter woman and breadwinner -a fact which she reminds me of each day), I am free to offer this advice to men whose emotional IQ is higher than their testosterone level:  Buy engraved stationery and seek out a woman with an expensive pen.   I might add that Crane & Co. and William Arthur have sensational personalized stationery promotions going on right now, so you can buy in cheap and score big with a personalized note to the woman of your dreams who is currently involved in an unhealthy relationship with her Blackberry.   Can you imagine her reaction when she receives your hand-written note on engraved stationery?   Her Facebook “friends” and “Twits” on Twitter will simply fade into oblivion proving decisively that the pen is mightier than texting. 

If you need help selecting your stationery, please enter your Zip code or City and State in the Search Bar in the right hand corner to locate a qualified stationery store in your neighborhood.   If, however, you are looking for a woman with the “right”  fountain pen, might I suggest a limited edition Omas Château Lafite Rothschild fountain pen with a sterling silver nib which retails for $1,750.  I ordered the Chateau Lafitite pen for a woman as a birthday gift to the man of her dream’s whose passions were limited edition pens and French wine.  Apparently, his passions didn’t extend to the woman in question and I still have the Omas pen.  If your bride-to-be is looking for a pen to ink the relationship, tell her I have a great deal for her at Thérèse Saint Clair.

Chateau Lafite Fountain Pen

Richard May
Therese Saint Clair

Mikel King just received his first wedding invitation through Facebook’s event system. He relates his reaction to this invitation in an article entitled Welcome to the age of the techno-wedding for Examiner.com.   Mikel, the NY Consumer Technology editor, is no stranger to emerging technology, but even he was taken aback by the largely impersonal and tasteless (my word!) decision to reduce a wedding to a Facebook event.

Mikel’s  reflection on techno-weddings might best be described as forward-looking satire.   Nevertheless, I feel that he shares my concern that the new technology is radically changing the way human beings (even New Yorkers!) relate to each other.    While cost is obviously an important consideration for a wedding, I am not convinced that the extra pasta dish at the reception buffet is worth skimping on your wedding invitation.    In fact, your wedding invitation will be around a lot longer than the pasta.

Having “followers” on Twitter or “friends” on Facebook seems to be the equivalent of having lice on a dog.  The lice are along for the ride without  having to make an emotional commitment.  “Let’s party” is the not the equivalent of “Let’s get married,” even though Facebook Events would like you to think so. 

As a tired old dog, I just think the Generation Y-ers have simply exchanged the TV remote control for a super-smart phone.   Texting is not engagement. In fact, one wonders if texting is really a form of communication or just a nervous habit  to avoid a commitment at a more deeply personal level.  Surely, once we strip tradition, elegance and etiquette from important events in people’s lives we effectively sever the connection to past generations that transcends our daily concerns. 

Like Mikel, I guess I  need to wait for the “neo-retro-wedding trend” to emerge once tweeting about yourself loses its moronic charm.

Richard W. May
Therese Saint Clair